I've had several conversations with other moms about how I stay home with my kids (not just that I do, but exactly how I do it). Some of them have shown great interest but say they can't afford to stay home, or at least not full-time. I'm here to tell you why I can't afford to "go to" work.
This topic can be controversial and I do not intend any harm, nor am I trying to cause anyone to feel guilty. I only want to bring to light some things that some moms may not have considered before in making their decision to work outside of the home.
There are several things I save because I stay home with my kids, including money, time, health, freedom, and stress.
Money:
1. We hardly ever eat out because I am home to cook meals for my family. Grocery shopping and preparing meals saves a ton of money versus going out to eat or even swinging through the Chick Fil A drive thru (although I do love to go for lunch every now and then).
2. I am completely avoiding the expense of daycare for two!
3. I don't have to buy clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, extra makeup, etc for myself because I wear what I want and usually go without makeup. The only thing I need to dress up for is church.
4. I save a ton on gas and wear-and-tear on my van by not having to drive to and from work and daycare every day.
Time:
1. I save a ton of time by not having to drop my kids off/pick my kids up from daycare (after rushing through breakfast and getting them dressed and ready and myself dressed and ready), the possible 30 minutes or more route to and from work, and because I am home all day I can consolidate my errands so I run all of them in one (exhausting) morning...no stopping here and there after work! Also I do things like getting the boys haircuts, laundry, dishes, house cleaning, organizing, paying bills, everything of that sort during the day when I would be at work. This means I have lots of time at night when Brad gets home to just enjoy being together as a family.
2. I spend no time preparing for work or daycare (lunch prepping/packing, whatever work my job would entail, which could be a lot, etc).
3. I have time to grocery shop, which deserves it's own number. We all know it isn't as fun as going by yourself, but it saves time to go during the day when I have my boys with me. It also saves money because I'm just trying to get what's on my list and go home. No lallygagging and spending more than I had planned! An added bonus is teaching my boys how to act in public while they are young so I can take them anywhere I want to go. They
usually behave themselves.
Health:
1. As I mentioned earlier, grocery shopping and preparing meals at home saves money and is also so much better for you than eating out. I (usually) love to cook healthy meals. Sidenote: cooking with kids underfoot is no fun but if you give them play doh, they WILL leave you alone. This includes breakfast (my favorite meal of the day, thanks to my mother), lunch, and dinner. We usually eat leftovers or yogurt and fruit for lunch but I love cooking breakfast every morning.
2. Vitamin D - we go outside a lot. If the weather is nice, I take the boys outside and they play in the dirt and soak in some vitamin D. I'm sure they would go outside at day care, but I like knowing for sure that they are getting enough exposure and I also get sick less because my skin sees the sun.
3. I have ample time to exercise. My house is relatively small, so I can keep an eye on the boys from almost anywhere I am which means I can workout and baby-watch at the same time. I have weights and an elliptical machine (there again, saving money and time on a gym membership!) and I get a good hard workout when I set my mind to it. I can also pack the boys up and take them to the park to walk anytime I want. That is sunshine AND exercise...the perfect combo.
4. Not being at work 40+ hours/week and my boys not being at daycare with 20+ other kids at a time means less sickness. I'm sure we avoid plenty of exposure and that means less down time and less time spent at the doctor.
5. My boys get a two-hour nap and a full night's sleep. I can let them sleep as long as they will in the morning and not have to wake them up and rush them out the door. Sleep is so important for a healthy life and staying home with them allows them to sleep as much as they need. I also get a nap here and there when I want and that is a MAJOR perk.
Freedom:
1. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good schedule. We have our normal routine: wake up, breakfast, get dressed, go outside unless it's raining, come in for a movie, lunch, back outside/movie, naps, snack, play while I cook dinner, have dinner, play with Daddy, baths, bed, repeat. That sounds so busy writing it all out and I can't imagine how much busier it would be if I added working outside the home into that equation. Working in the home provides me with more freedom than I could've imagined. I can come and go as I please, albeit with my children, but they are nice companions. Sometimes I take them out for donuts or just a ride in the car with the windows down. Sometimes we go to the library and look at books. Sometimes we go to the park and play for hours. Really, my schedule can be changed at any given moment for whatever I decide I want to do. It will be somewhat different when I start schooling Jeremiah but I will still have a decent amount of freedom. You really can't put a price on setting your own schedule.
2. I have freedom in my thought life. My mind isn't consumed with thoughts of my kids all day (where they are, if they are being treated fairly, if someone is teaching them bad things, if they are hurt, if they are missing me, or how I am going to get X done at work the next day/week.) This leads to less stress, better sleep at night, and better overall health.
3. I can take trips whenever I want. If I want to go visit any grandparent, I'm not missing out on work or money and I don't have to ask for time off. I can have as many vacation days as I want. I do have to coordinate with Brad, but there are some places I take the kids without him and he is okay with staying home and working to provide for us.
Stress:
Stress has a more negative impact on our bodies than we acknowledge. Staying home with my boys can stress me at times, but it's no more than I would have at any job and probably a lot less (now that I think about what it was like to work out of the home, I am
sure I have much less stress now). I can avoid stress because I know my boys are fed well, well napped, treated fairly, being disciplined when required the way I want them disciplined, being taught the Truth, and are having a blast just being kids. Knowing for sure that they are happy without a care in the world and go to bed without worry takes so much stress out of my life.
As to all the thoughts about the benefits of daycare (socialization is the only one I can think of, honestly), they have friends they see at church. They have cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents close by that love on them and play with them. I am a firm believer that the more children are around their grandparents, the more solid they will be in their beliefs and morals. I have friends that I meet up with at the park who also have kids their ages so they can "socialize" then. Once they are old enough to participate in sports, they will also have friends there. I get the impression that socialization is very important to most people, even though studies are showing that kids nowadays are less social than ever. I believe it has it's place, but I want them socializing with people who will be a positive influence in their lives. Just something to consider...
I also understand some women have a strong conviction to their careers outside of the home. I've never felt that way since having my children but for some women that conviction never leaves. For you women, I don't see how you do it but am glad you are following the Lord's plan for your life. This also goes for single moms who do not have a husband to provide for them so they can stay at home. God bless all of you for taking care of your children and providing for them.
To sum it all up, I simply cannot afford to work outside the home. In addition to all of the above reasons, the one simple thing that keeps me home is my children. They were given to me as a blessing and I intend on raising them the best way I can, which for me is being with them to teach them, guide them, watch over them, pray over them, and spend as much time as I can with them. There are more benefits than I can think of in this short time and I hope this has helped some of you in your consideration.
