My husband has been on a diet/weight-lifting kick for awhile now. He's actually getting pretty buff. It has made me look at myself and rethink my goals. My weight has plateaued and I am not happy where it has stopped. I'm still a good several pounds more than before I got pregnant with Jeremiah. I have started a weight-lifting routine (if you can call it routine) and using an app to log my food. After a couple of days of logging my food, I realized I was eating WAY more than I thought I was. I am not going to log my food for the rest of my life, but it's a great thing to do for awhile til I get my eating habits under control. While I don't just sit around eating Oreos all day, I make sure to get a bite of something sweet pretty often. "Bites" add up quickly, let me tell you. It's enough to keep my blood sugar spiking all day long so I get that sugar high. I also make it a point to have a cookie or two a few times a week. I've rationalized and rationalized but if I'm truly honest with myself, I have a sugar addiction. Simply put, I am a glutton.
This blog pretty much sums up how I feel. It's amazing that something can have such a hold on me and yet it's completely in my own control. I'M the one bringing the food to my lips and eating it. I'M the one who puts the boys in the van to go get donuts. I'M the one who says, "Just a bite won't hurt." I'M the one passing my addiction on to my children. And I'M the one who can stop it dead in its tracks. I'M the only one in control of what I eat.
I feel completely ridiculous even writing about this. It shouldn't be an issue, yet it's one of the biggest issues in my life. I know it's a struggle for a lot of people. Sugar is just SO good. It makes you feel good but in the end, like a lot of other things, it just leaves you wanting more. Enough is never enough. It's unhealthy for my body AND my mind. Spending my days consumed with thinking about what sweet thing I will eat next is no way to live. When I really stop and examine myself, it makes me so angry.
I decided to take control and beat my addiction. Sugar will not rule my life anymore.
God's word says in Proverbs 23:2 "and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony." That's pretty clear and serious. In that same chapter, verses 20 and 21 say "do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." I am trying to meditate on these and keep them in the back of my mind. I've been sugar-free for 3 days now. This morning on day 4, I woke up with a clearer mind. The fog is slowly lifting and my overall mood and attitude is getting better. My body feels better. It just feels really good. It's freeing my mind and my time to focus on other things that are more important.
There will be times (birthdays, parties, etc) where I will be tempted and I will certainly indulge. I just want to be the one to decide when and where I will give in. I will control what I eat or don't eat.
And if any of y'all see me relapse, you have my full permission to slap the brownie out of my hand. :)
I also have a coffee addiction but I'm not ready to conquer that yet. All in good time...maybe...
I hope this blog leaves you inspired. It's not my goal to shame anyone, but if it's a struggle for you just know you aren't the only one.
With love,
Hannah Elise
No comments:
Post a Comment